James 1: 2-4
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
“Are you afraid of people seeing you go through the process?” Boy, was that a loaded question. My best friend in the whole-wide world knew just the question to ask to make me honest with myself. Yes. Yes I was and I must admit, I still am. I’m afraid of people seeing the real me.
What prompted the question was the conversation around whether or not I should take my kinky twists out, cut the relaxed ends off and allow my hair to grow in its most natural state.
I’ve been debating “going natural” with my hair. I haven’t had a relaxer in almost a year… the longest I have gone since I was 4 years-old. (That’s 25 years for those counting 😉 )
But, back to the original question: “Are you afraid of people seeing you go through the process?” In other words: Are you so concerned with yourself and the way you look that you won’t take the necessary steps to do what you want to do for yourself, even if it risks looking “less-than” your desired best for a brief time?
I feel there’s so much theology in this it’s almost too deep to excavate. But, I must. It’s not just about my hair. It’s much more. It’s about being transparent. It’s about finally being real.
I remember the first time in my adult life when I got serious about living my life for God. It was wonderful. God was awesome, I felt awesome and life was just (you guessed it) awesome. Then, He started showing me some things about myself. Some real ugly things. Life with God started getting real. He showed me some areas in my life that needed a lot of “cutting-off.” I knew what was coming. It was going to be a process. One snip at a time. Was I going to run and hide, or face it and turn it over to Him? Well, currently I’m somewhere in between. (Remember, it’s a process)
God has this great way of humbly exposing me to the lies I have been living under for the past 20+ years. It’s been upsetting. It’s hurt. A lot. It’s required a lot of “go there” moments. But it’s been necessary. In a previous blog post, I mentioned that God isn’t necessarily interested in my feelings. He’s more interested in mending my brokenness and making me whole. He desires I live in His Truth: The only truth. He desires I live in His freedom.
So, the real question becomes: Am I ready to reveal my REAL life? My struggles, my hopes, my dreams and my past. Yes. I owe it to Him. This life isn’t all about me. It’s about my witness to the world so that HE may be glorified. So, l’m taking my life back. Today. Growth is necessary. For this next season in my life and thereafter, I’m committing to transparency and letting go.
Here it is folks, the new Nonie. The Nonie that’s not afraid to share the details of my beautiful struggle with you, so that He may be glorified. I’m so glad I serve a real God that understands my real life.
I pray this post and all future posts will bless you.